Sarcasm is CELEBRATING!!!

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

I start off this week with a HUGE Thank You to all of you who read this blog! Yup, you read that right! As you can see from my top banner and that neat little badge on my sidebar, Sarcastic Beads and Yarn is celebrating it’s very first birthday this week! To be honest, when I started out doing this, I never in a million dreamed it would last more than maybe a month, or even gain more than maybe about 30 readers (if I was lucky).

Let me explain exactly how wrong I was. This is my 56th post. As of when I typed this post, I have had 33,689 viewers from over 100 countries, on six continents. Although most of you have reached me from Facebook, I have also been clicked on from 644 search engines, Reddit, Pinterest, my own webstore, Twitter, and about THREE dozen other referrers. And as of today, I am approaching 500 email subscribers.

Why subscribe? I’m about to start releasing my patterns in PDF form and when I do, I will be emailing some of them to my subscribers absolutely FREE! Also, my email subscribers get bonus postings that do not get shared to social media!

Ok, so I WANT this shirt!!! (that’s a hint out there for all of you!)ha It sure would make a nice blogiversary present for me…..


NOW do you understand why I threw out a mini-Challenge for you, LOL? I have been telling you all along that as I reach certain milestones on my blog, I would do something for YOU, my beloved and faithful readers to thank you.

In making you work for it by creating something new and wonderful is just my way of torture! No, really it is my way of making you think. Making you think outside the box on things like designing with beads you haven’t used, colors outside your color comfort zone, things like that! I hope you understand I’m just trying to make you all better beaders and truth be told, I learn so MUCH from you!

Speaking of Challenges, don’t forget you have until next Saturday, July 2, 2016 at Noon CST to get your entries in to the Shaped Bead Challenge. In my blog I sent out this past Thursday night, I threw out some hints as to how you can do your designs without the numbered seed beads. I even gave you a few hints as to where you could find some designs that do not use them! Speaking of which, Akke Jonkhof has done it again with yet another design with no numbered seed beads!

Design by Akke Jonkhof

Design by Akke Jonkhof

I’m going to close out this posting now by letting you know that I have most of the prize pack for the Shaped Bead Challenge together. As I have said before, I’m digging these out of my own stash and purchasing a few too. Beads aren’t cheap, so if you feel the charity bug biting you, there is a Paypal donation button on the sidebar (scroll down if you are a mobile reader). The donations also go toward my web fees. Don’t forget you must be an email subscriber in order to participate, so sign up!

Until next time, stay smart or stay smart sassy!


Sarcasm Talks the Shaped Bead Challenge

Thanks to Bridget Cook for the meme!

Thanks to Bridget Cook for the meme!

Ok, this is going to be short and quick cuz it is waaaaayyyy past my bedtime!

One of the things that makes a Bead Challenge actually challenging is the necessity of thinking outside the box. This is what you need to do when you do your favorite designer’s pattern (PLEASE purchase it, if possible!) or whatever pattern you choose. Yes, I said no numbered seed beads. Was I absolutely positively clear about it? NO. I goofed. I admit it. I made a mistake. We all do. If ya hate me for it, I do apologize.

You MAY use numbered seed beads ONLY for attaching clasps or earwires. Is it absolutely necessary? NO.

Here comes that thinking outside the box part again. Think DRUKS. ROUND BEADS. Ya see where I’m going with this?

Ok, and just to throw you a bone, I have found at  buy lasix 100 mg least 6 patterns over on Kelly Dale’s Off the Beaded Path site that can be done not only without any seed beads whatsoever, but even more where seed beads could be substituted for other beads. Now, if I can find that many on just 1 site, imagine how many you can by searching all over the net!

Another thing, since I have received so many messages and emails from you all that have been stuck on this, (and because well, it’s my Challenge ha!) I’m extending the Shaped Bead Challenge for ONE more week. So, that gives you until Noon CST Saturday, 7/2/16 to submit your entries. No, seriously, I have some things going on in my personal life that would not allow me to look at your entries in a timely and fair manner.

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!


Sarcasm Issues a Challenge (With a Prize!)

Meme from Susan Sassoon!

Meme from Susan Sassoon!!!! Living in Alabama in the summer is ridiculous! I mean, it’s only June, and we have already had near 100 degree temps. i am SO dreading August!!! It’s enough to melt my beads! The only thing the heat isn’t melting? The bugs! O.M.G. they are almost as big as my car!  All the more reason to run back inside in the A/C and back to my beads!


For those of you who are regular readers, you know I like to participate in the monthly Dry Gulch Color Design Challenge. It is held using a different color palette over on Facebook each month. The only requirement is that you use all the colors in the assigned color palette. That’s it. Your entry can be anything from jewelry to curtains to cupcakes, as long as it follows the assigned color palette. You can also enter as many times as you want. For June, I have submitted two entries, a necklace and a bangle, both designed by Anna Lindell.

Dry Gulch June 2016 Color Design Challenge "Tattered Peonies"

Dry Gulch June 2016 Color Design Challenge “Tattered Peonies”

The bangle is Anna’s Starman Trendsetters “Wicker” bangle, and the necklace is her “Water Lily” pattern, using the new Demi-round seed beads. I had so much fun making both that I made two of each! (the second bangle isn’t quite done yet for pics though.)

"Water Lily"

“Water Lily”

"Water Lily"

“Water Lily”

For the bangle, I used Bronzeberry and Iced Coffee crescent beads and Copper-lined Alabaster seed beads with Dark Bronze superduos and quadralentils. For the necklaces, on the pink one I used  Amethyst Gold Luster Demirounds, Czech 2-hole daggers in Rose Gold Topaz Luster, English cut beads in Amethyst, Quadralentils in Champagne, Miniduos in Sand, Galvanized seed beads in Mauve and Tanzanite Gold Luster, and I used a magnetic copper clasp. For the dark one I used Demirounds in Matte Silver, seed beads in Antique Silver and Hematite, and Firepolish and Daggers in Jet Picasso.

Ok, I have a Challenge for you! I’m going to do this too, I just won’t get a prize though! You must email your pictures (no more than 2) to no later than 12 Noon CST Saturday, 6/25/16. Please include your full name and address, as well as your Facebook handle! You MUST be an email subscriber to this blog! The winner will be posted on next week’s blog and ALL entries will be posted too!

yaz cost YOUR MISSION: Make a design you have never done before and do NOT use the pattern as written (please get the designer’s permission to do this and please purchase whatever pattern you use from them!) because you will be doing it WITHOUT the use of ANY numbered (ex. 6,8,11,15/0) seed beads, make the pattern. In other words, use ONLY shaped beads! Challenge is only open to U.S. and Canadian residents. I just can’t afford the shipping overseas. Sorry. 🙁

That’s the only clues you get! Beads are not cheap, so in order to do this, I’m digging in to my own pockets. If you are generous, please hit the donate button on this page to help me out! It also helps out with my web fees!

Until next week, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!



Sarcasm Talks Men’s Jewelry!

Meme Courtesy of Susan Sassoon

Meme Courtesy of Susan Sassoon SoSassySusanSassoon

Well, we celebrated Moms a couple of weeks ago, and now we have Dad’s Day rapidly coming upon us in just a couple of weeks. But what does a beadaholic do for that special Dad/Husband/Grandpa, etc.,? You know, the one who actually PAYS for our bead habits and puts up with our endless talk of spirals and peyote and Czechmates and Delicas? I mean who else would put up with (so lovingly, I might add! :D) all of the endless “honey, help me decide” questions about everything from color choices to stitch design? Oh, and did I forget to mention that we are honoring them for being the terrific husbands and fathers in our lives? Yeah, so there’s that teeny little detail!

We spend so much time designing and creating and stitching up such beautiful beaded wonders for women, that we barely give notice to the men.  What’s a more perfect time than Father’s Day? So I went scouring around the net trying to find a few worthwhile pieces to give those great guys in our lives – something a little more wearable than say, the macaroni and fruit loops necklace that you probably got for Mother’s Day!

There’s just no denying though, men are the most difficult creatures on earth to (buy for/live with) bead jewelry for! I mean, there are always a few beaders lucky enough get away with using basic strung jewelry, but for those of us beadweavers, the choices are tough! You can always use larger beads like the 6/0 and 8/0 seed beads, but what for? It doesn’t have to always be jewelry! If your guy is a smoker, then you could always whip up a lighter cover in his favorite sports team colors or mascot, or (better) if he’s not, you could do the same thing for a pen cover for him.

Here are two that I pulled from Google images, the American flag for that All American guy in your life, and a dragon for your more err… rugged (?) types. These should both fit a standard Bic Lighter or similar.

Flag lighter cover

Flag lighter cover

Dragon lighter cover

Dragon lighter cover

Another super cool thing you could do for your guy is  a beaded business card holder. Sound hard? Susan Sassoon with SoSassySusanSassoon makes it easy with two great patterns over in her Etsy shop! Her Beaded business card holder with SuperDuos using 2-drop peyote is one that I have made as a gift for a friend who absolutely LOVES it, and her Bugle Business Card Holder Tutorial using 2/1 odd count peyote is another great one. The main difference between the two is the superduo one has a superduo hinge at the bottom, while the bugle one uses tile beads for a more squared off look.Both tutorials come with graphs for the examples shown, as well as blank pages for your to graph your own design!

Bugle Business Card Holder by

Bugle Business Card Holder by SoSassySusanSassoon

Superduo Business Card Holder by

Superduo Business Card Holder by SoSassySusanSassoon

Speaking of covering your guy’s stuff in beads: PLEASE do not try to bead any kind of “usable” equipment including (but not limited to!) golf clubs. tennis rackets, other sports equipment, and weightlifting gear. Pool cues are out too, except for maybe a teeny tiny band near the top of the cue, and ONLY if you clear it with him first, cuz believe me, pool cues are a very balanced piece of equipment.  A big HUGE beading NO to ANY of his hand tools, knives and (do I really even NEED to say this?) guns! Besides the fact that they are very dangerous to non-experienced users, they have a LOT of incredibly precise adjustments, and just should NOT be messed with.

Here is a little something I did a few years ago (so please keep this in mind when viewing the awful pics). I got some stainless steel size 2 hex nuts. (You will need to ask specifically at your hardware store for stainless steel because most ordinary hex nuts are zinc based and that will cause an allergic ruckus.) Use some either 10 lb smoke Fireline or Wildfire thread OR some thin 49 strand beading wire and then simply peyote stitch a bracelet with the hex nuts. You will need the extra weight in the thread or beading wire to support the weight from the steel in the hex nuts. Be sure to use a strong snap clasp with wire guardians on each end so your thread does not break later.

hex nut size 4hex nut sz 4

So what ideas have you come up with for Father’s Day? I would love it if you would share them in the comment section below! And for those of you who have not signed up as email subscribers, you are about to miss out, because I will be releasing a FREE pattern using some of the new Czech beads in the next couple of weeks, here on my blog to my email subscribers ONLY! Once it posts to my wonderful subscribers, it will be taken down and posted on my website for sale for everyone.

Until next time, stay smart or stay smart sassy!