Sarcasm Talks Retirement


Bra off

Thanks to Bridget Cook for the meme!

I was sent this by a friend I’m not going to identify, it’s true, I promise! Anyways, thought you all would get a laugh from it!

RETIREMENT (by a friend I won’t identify!)

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing
the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud-speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm has a YouTube Tutorial!


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Hey everyone, SO sorry to be running late this week, but well, I was in the hospital with this crater thing on my arm, and what was thought to be a spider bite turned out to be a nasty infection that was REALLY resistant to the antibiotics – even the IV ones!

Anywho, y’all remember my “Penny Pincher” bracelet? You know, the one that was one of the winners of the Potomac Bead Company 2016 Design Challenge? You know, THIS one!

"Penny Pincher"

“Penny Pincher”

Well, a lot of you have been asking for a tutorial for it, and though I haven’t finished the written one yet, Potomac Bead Company has posted a VIDEO tutorial of it by Allie Buchman, which can be found HERE.

I absolutely ADORE the colors she chose, and though I used a one needle approach in making mine, she simplified it (yes it DOES simplify it!) by using a two needle approach. Also, if you want a ruffled look to the bracelet, add three o-beads instead of two on the outer edges!

Another thing, I want to apologize for my rant last week about what happened at the LBS where I live. Yes, she stole quite a bit of my things, but with the assistance of my local police department, I WAS able to retrieve SOME of it, though the more expensive items “could not be found.” So, I am out over $500 in tools and supplies. If you want to help me out here, I would definitely appreciate it, and you can do so by hitting that Paypal button on the side/top/bottom of the page.

Also, don’t forget to subscribe! If you are on a mobile device, just scroll down to the bottom and click on “View Desktop Version” and down near the comments you will find the subscription box. Desktop users can find it in the upper right hand corner. I thank you all SO much for hanging in there with me! I never dreamed that there would be nearly 40,000 of you, heck, I never thought there would be 40 of you!

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm Stands with The Thin Blue Line


days without sarcasm

Thanks to Valerie Fanning for the meme!

Sometimes it is just better to leave well enough alone. However, when it comes to standing by the Thin Blue Line, I embrace it wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, over a weekend ago, when I changed my personal profile picture on my own private Facebook page to represent our beloved law enforcement (including my husband), I was attacked and threatened by an individual in social media for it.

Due to that attack ON me, the landlord with whom I introduced to the owner of The Wild Bead & Boutique, the only thing resembling an LBS in the Montgomery, AL area,  (it is really just a consignment store that happens to sell beads bought at other bead stores when the owner is on Government paid for Air Force trips) for a mutually beneficial arrangement to sublet decided that it was ME who was too “controversial” to be allowed on the premises. Instead of standing by me not only as their ONLY published designer, instructor, and as a supposed “friend,” the owner of The Wild Bead & Boutique banned me from her shop so she would not lose her cheaper rental space.

Long story short, when I went to pick up my supplies, I was literally chased out the door to my car by the person The Wild Bead & Boutique sublet the space with, as he was screaming at the top of his lungs obscenities and racial slurs. Whether or not he actually chased me all the way to my car, I don’t know, as I was trying too fast to get in my car and get AWAY from his madness. All I know is that when a VERY large man who is SCREAMING obscenities and using racist language toward me as he is coming up out of a chair toward me, is someone to get the heck out of dodge AWAY from, and my feet did not fail me then!

I am ALL for supporting your local bead shops. Brick and mortar stores are becoming rarer and harder to find. Online bead retailers are cheaper and ship very quickly. However, the only local “bead” shops in Montgomery, Alabama I can endorse at this time are the chain stores, such as Hobby Lobby, Michael’s, and Joann’s, due to this other shop’s business practices. I can not endorse a business that has kept nearly a thousand dollar’s worth of my beads and supplies, and then was ordered in writing for my husband to pick them up, they suddenly “cannot find them.”

This is where I absolutely LOVE online shopping. You can retrieve a receipt from anyone, anywhere, no matter when the purchase.  And boy, do I have them! This business has ALL my wire (including sterling, argentium, and gold-plated and gold-filled, as well as copper), gemstone chips of lapis, carnelian, amethyst, red coral, rainbow moonstone, turquoise, jade, and more, polymer clay, polymer clay tools, varnishing and sanding compounds, and much more, including beads that were sold under my consignment number.

I cannot and will not be associated with a business that can’t even keep their telephone turned on, and the owner’s vehicle is constantly being repossessed from the front parking lot (it’s embarrassing), due to non-payment for the last six months, let alone one who refuses to return my beads and supplies stating in an email that I “donated” them. To the several thousand of you whom I invited to “like” their Facebook page, I sincerely apologize, and hope you understand that if I could take those invitations back, I would most certainly do so. Of the 671 likes that page received to date over 420 were from you, my loyal and faithful readers.

The Wild Bead & Boutique even sent out a mass post about me on their Facebook page (which Facebook has since removed) with some very ugly falsehoods said about me specifically that could have cost my page a lot of “likes,” but ugliness toward others does not play well in business, and you all have gone above and beyond to make my pages even stronger, and I thank you so much! I leave it to your own discretion about how you feel about their business, as I won’t re-visit this topic ever again here.

This week I was working on several things until the stress of all of this resulted in being hospitalized with cardiac issues. I thank you all so much for taking the time to stop by one of my different social media platforms to wish me well and pray for me. Right now, my prayer is that I can just get caught up enough for the show I have at the end of the month! lol  In all seriousness, I have some really lovely pieces ready for that show, including several new ones. I am so looking forward to this! It opens up so many opportunities for women in business, and in my book, that is always a great thing!

Thin Blue Line

Praying for “The Thin Blue Line”

This wonderful pattern was actually written by Margherita Fusco and is available in her Etsy shop HERE. In my design, I used a 12mm Swarovski Rivoli in Paradise Shine, along with 4mm Swarovski bicones in Denim AB2X, Vintage Copper Arcos and Minos beads, and 11/0 Miyuki seed beads in Blue-Gold Luster. The pattern actually called for a rose montee’, but since I did not have one on hand, I used another bicone instead.  The blue in the stones represents the Thin Blue Line that we cherish about them. The copper represents the badges so many of our Law Enforcement Officers proudly wear each and every day, sacrificing their own personal safety for our safety.

Blessings be with each one of those dedicated men and women in blue and khaki uniforms each day. Without law, there would be no order, and without them, there would be neither. I am very proud to say that I married to one of those honorable people, and am thankful every time he walks in the door safe and sound.

I was beading where can i buy augmentin long before that shop opened and will continue to do so from my custom-built bead table by my also-crafty husband in my home and even teaching a few classes locally. I can always be reached via social media, email, or phone. I love each and every one of you and pray that you continue to patronize your own local bead stores if you have one.

One more thing, although I’m sure my attorney is grateful for your abundance of screenshots from the people who continue to harass me on social media and even in my own neighborhood, I am asking that you please STOP.  Every time I open one, I just get sucked right back into “their” small little worlds, which is the LAST place I ever want to be again! If they want to slander me, that is THEIR legal headache and fees, not mine (my attorney is a friend, so I don’t have any fees).

I thank you for wanting to help me, but unlike them, I choose to move on with my life and my business WITHOUT their continued harassment. It has obviously proven harmful to my health. It proves sad that people think that belittling and slandering an individual like me do so only to make themselves feel “important.” Thank you all so much for being SO kind, and wonderful, and even hilarious to make me laugh! And hey, if we can ALL laugh this off, that’s over 40,000 people doing so! You all are absolutely UH-MAZING!!!

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

In Beady Love, Friendship, and Gratitude,

Becca

Sarcasm Has Another Winner!


Happy Independence Day America! For those of you celebrating,  buy bird doxycycline PLEASE be courteous around pets, and especially near any former combat veterans when it comes to fireworks! It is a traumatic thing resembling gunfire to both of them, and you do not want to be the cause of a PTSD incident!

As far as my beading goes this week, I submitted a third entry in the Dry Gulch Color Design Challenge for June (it, nor any of my other entries, won) and also played with my new peanut beads! I have had peanut beads for a while, but these are really cool, because they are 3x6mm!

watermarked-2016-07-02-19-06-18 watermarked-2016-07-02-19-30-25

I don’t really have a name for this. I was just experimenting with the larger peanut beads and some right angle weave and this is what I came up with. The peanut beads are seafoam green, and I used 8/0 blue metallic iris and 11/0 galvanized copper to accent them, with a copper magnetic clasp. It feels great on the wrist to wear, and looks great with jeans!

"Crescent Sunburst" Pendant

“Crescent Sunburst” Pendant

My last-minute Dry Gulch entry was the “Crescent Sunburst” pendant from the cover of the August “Bead & Button.” I used Rose-gold topaz daggers, galvanized beige 11/0, a druk in pastel bordeaux, and some 2mm druks in rose gold.

But none of my beading is why any of you are even reading today, am I right? LOL I’m guessing you all want to know who has won the Shaped Bead Challenge. Well, here’s the thing. I didn’t have a whole lot of entries, and the ones that I did get, I’m “friends” on Facebook with some of you. So, in order to be fair and impartial about this, and because all the entries met the requirements of viagra without a doctor prescription usa NO NUMBERED SEED BEADS, I couldn’t pick between you on my own. So what I did was go to one of those websites where you throw everyone’s names in a virtual “hat” and it draws one out. Please do not be mad at me for this because you ALL did a wonderful job with your entries! (plus, I have 103 fever today and literally can not focus on beads.)

Congratulations to Bracelets Galore for your original bracelet design entry consisting of nothing but 4 mm Czech fire polished, 4 mm bicones, 8 mm pearl, Superduos, Diamonduos, 6 mm pearls, and o-beads. It is a thing of beauty! As was ALL of the entries, but in order to make this a fair and neutral thing, I had to go this route. Believe me, if I could, I would send every single one of you something! (And for those of you who do not see your name in the pic above, it was a scroll-down the page thing.)

Bracelets Galore

Bracelets Galore

That’s it for today. Like I said before, I have a fever, so I’m going to bed! Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca