Sarcasm Heard There Is a Holiday?


Holiday Maxine

So rumor has it there is a major American Holiday this week. While most of you are anticipating turkey, dressing (there is NO such thing as “stuffing” here in the South) and all the trimmings, and shopping Black Friday, the ONLY important thing going on this week in Alabama is the Iron Bowl. I love and respect my Alabama Crimson Tide friends any time of the year except THIS week. If you live in Alabama, you have to make a choice – you either are a well-educated, love being on The Plains of Auburn fan who greets other with “War Eagle” [sce emoji=”handshake”/] year-round instead of “hello,” or you pull for that other team, that salutes an elephant while saying “Roll Tide” [sce emoji=”envy”/].

Holiday PrepareHoliday Beat Bama

So all of you enjoy your meal (because of my health concerns we are doing a crab/shrimp boil), your shopping, and your hangovers from the wine. I’ll be dressed in my Orange and Blue Auburn Tigers attire saying “War Eagle” to EVERYONE! [sce emoji=”fistbump”/]

Have a VERY Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving everyone! [sce emoji=”heart”/] Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca – The Sarcastic Beader

Holiday WDE

 

Sarcasm Says Happy Craft Month!


Happy Craft Month!!!! So….have y’all been getting all crafty? WE HAVE!!!! Well, I say “we”. I actually mean “me”. Poor Becca is poorly so she asked me to guest post.  She has no idea what she’s in for! HAHAHAHAHA! [sce emoji=”evilgrin”/] By the way, Becca will be back next week with that thread review y’all are wanting!

A little about me…I’m the guilty party that created the monster [sce emoji=”devil”/] that eventually became Becca’s Beaded Bangles. I’ve been making jewelry for more than 10 years and I’ve crafted all of my life. My style is a bit different than hers though. (don’t tell her but i don’t even OWN a seed bead. Not even one! Ed. note: that’s because she gave every single one she had to me!) I create from things i find or that are given to me. I started out doing things with shells and bits and pieces I found on the beach. That quickly expanded to things like car parts and rocks and old computers. [sce emoji=”whatsgoingon”/]  LOL  Yeah, I know it’s a bit odd. And that’s ok because that’s what art is supposed to be! I use bones, antlers, pelts, old draperies, and I’ve been known to rip up clothing. [sce emoji=”bomb”/]

Hiking with 2 of the mutts!

Of course, I use beads too, just not tiny ones that like to run away from you…. I like big honking pieces that make a statement! Anyway, I sell cars, and I have a couple of grown kids, a husband, and 6 dogs.  I created my “studio” in the corner of my new-ish hubby’s living room. Nothing fancy because I’m way too rough on stuff but it’s functional and I don’t feel like I’ve been sent to detention away from the fam. I spend as much time as I can outdoors hiking, swimming, canoeing, and generally getting into trouble any way I can find. (Bec will vouch for me on that!) I’m also rebuilding the gardens I sort of inherited. And of course, like all of you, I have a myriad of other life obligations that keep me running pillar to post every day. And like anything important, I force time for creating because without it I’m completely lost and I get depressed and laundry doesn’t get done and my family gets frightened I’m going off the deep end.  But that’s enough about me.

So what are you creating? Late winter and spring are always good for delving into new things and stretching your creative eye. Lately I’ve been playing with leather (that started as pants and a jacket. Don’t worry. They were pretty hideous as clothes but the leather is first class!) I can’t say that I’ll do this long-term but it gives the rest of my brain a break. It’s a sort of cure for “creative block”. I actually took several weeks off after Christmas because I would sit at my bench and *poof*. [sce emoji=”dull”/] Nothing. A total abyss. Ugh. So trying new things sort of sets everything on restart and I can move again. I strongly recommend trying new techniques, a new craft, a new perspective. Even if you never do it again, you’re forever enriched by the experience and will always see things a little differently because of it.

Speaking of doing new things…. Have y’all seen the new “Jackie” tutorial Becca did? She is actually the first designer to create a necklace with the AVA beads. Yeah…so… I really did create a monster. [sce emoji=”doctorstrange”/] LOL I don’t know how she does it. [sce emoji=”skipping”/] I really don’t. All those little tiny monsters! I mean beads.  Yes, I meant beads… LOL And she makes it all look effortless too! [sce emoji=”lalala”/] So go try a new pattern! Now is the time to snap it up because her entire webstore is 25% off this month with coupon code NCM17! (And she really needs the money with all that expensive medicine they have her on.)

“Jackie”

Y’all take care and come back now, ya hear? It’s time for me to go fold laundry and be an adult so I can go cut up more stuff! [sce emoji=”facepalm”/]

Oh….I almost forgot….. I promised I would also remind y’all that blogs ain’t free. It would be awesome if you could throw your spare change over this way. Don’t throw it hard cuz that would hurt.  Just toss gently, maybe.  Even better if it’s dollar bills!

Keep rocking your truth!

Sincerely,

Abby Lynn

Wire and Wine

Sarcasm Is Baaaaccckkkkk!!!


 

Season’s Greetings Everyone! Down to the wire now. Christmas this weekend, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Boxing Day next week and Festivus too! I know, I know, I have been completely MIA for the last month. I REALLY apologize to everyone, but between some major health issues and some family things, I just have not had time to sit down and write a purposeful blog to you all, and to be honest, when I had the whole hole-in-my-arm-that-gave-me-MRSA thing going on, I got seriously behind on my beading, so I have been trying to play catch-up ever since. I even managed to squeeze in a couple of craft shows in Mobile, Alabama with my Sis during my hiatus from you!

I promise you, the next time you hear from me, it will be slam full of what I have been working on (including with the new AVA beads!) to wrap up 2016! After that, I thought about doing my own thread review to kind of follow-up on Marcia Balonis “All About the Thread” blog from back in June. I was skeptical at first, but not anymore! Would you all like for me to do a thread review? Let me know in the comment section below!

Anywho, you all have a WONDERFUL & BLESSED week or so, and remember not to drink and drive or get in a vehicle with anyone who has been, or better yet, take THEIR keys and call someone to come get all of you! I really have missed reaching out to you all on a regular basis, but will be back on track after the holidays.

Until next time, stay smart or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm Talks Retirement


Bra off

Thanks to Bridget Cook for the meme!

I was sent this by a friend I’m not going to identify, it’s true, I promise! Anyways, thought you all would get a laugh from it!

RETIREMENT (by a friend I won’t identify!)

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing
the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud-speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca