Sarcasm Stays Up Late…..


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Y’all know that my “thing” is snarky, almost belligerent sometimes, sarcasm, so I thought I would compile a top 10 of my favorite snarky things I have found both online and in real life (yes, there is such a thing!):

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time… I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my behind when I ask where the bathroom is?

2. People who are willing to get off their behinds to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Heck yeah! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people actually do this? Who, and where are they? Of course, I’ve been known to chase a 15/0 seed bead halfway across a room!

5. When people say while watching a film, “Did ya see that?” No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the theater and stare at the freaking floor!

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”… Didn’t give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

8. When people say “life is short”. WTH??? Life is the longest freaking thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do that is ANYTHING longer?

9. When you are waiting for your ride and someone asks “Has your ride got here yet?” If my ride was here yet, would I be standing here???

10. When people say about my jewelry like my wedding ring or my sapphire necklace just because I happen to make jewelry “Oh, did you make that too? Could you make me one? How much for something like that?” I mean, seriously??? Do people think because I work with tiny little seed beads I can afford to metalsmith precious metals and gemstones? Dang, I can barely afford my bead habit!

Speaking of beading, how is everyone coming along with the Sarcastic Beads and Yarn Challenge Spring 2016? I have seen some GREAT entries so far, and you can too by clicking HERE. You can also get a quick look at the Pantone colors that are required for the Challenge at the top of that page too.

Now, if you are anything like me, you totally get what it feels like when you just have to bead something – anything – but need something to inspire you and new projects to work on. There is something almost mystical about taking a needle and thread and turning a little pile of seed beads into a beautiful and wearable creation.

This month, I was lucky enough to score both “Jill Wiseman’s Beautiful Beaded Ropes, 24 Wearable Jewelry Projects in Multiple Stitches,”  AND “Japanese Beadwork with Sonoko Nozue: 25 Jewelry Designs From A Master Artist,” and I got them way below retail! Talk about beading inspiration!

Japanese Beadwork with Sonoko Nozue: 25 Jewelry Designs From A Master Artist"

“Japanese Beadwork with Sonoko Nozue: 25 Jewelry Designs From A Master Artist”

“Jill Wiseman’s Beautiful Beaded Ropes, 24 Wearable Jewelry Projects in Multiple Stitches”

“Jill Wiseman’s Beautiful Beaded Ropes, 24 Wearable Jewelry Projects in Multiple Stitches”

These two books, man oh man, if you ever need beading inspiration, they are definitely your go-to’s! Sonoko is, let me just say, bountiful with her use of Swarovski crystals, especially 3mm bicones, while Jill manages to touch on just about every beading technique we use in just one book. Also, let me remind you that if you are participating in the Challenge, that anything out of Jill’s book is an acceptable entry, as long as it is done in the Pantone colors specified.

So far I have received over 50 entries into the challenge. Yes, you read that right – fifty entries! One reason is because you can enter as many times as you want, as long as you limit your entries to three per day, per person. They must be uploaded to the event page HERE and only to the event page.

Once they are posted to the event page (and here is the reason for this week’s blog title) I stay up very late each night and proof and then upload them to the contest page here on the blog. If I have time, and I am near my laptop during the day, I will upload what I can, when I can. Just please do not panic if you do not see your entry posted on the contest page here until the next day. I can only do it from my laptop, and I am not glued to it 24/7. I mean, I have to have some time to bead!

So, I will close out my rambling and just remind you that in order to qualify your entry into the Challenge, you browse around here MUST be an email subscriber to this blog, which is easy peasy. If you are on a desktop device, just look in the upper left corner of the page and you will find the subscriber box to sign up, http://siucbag.com/?m=20150910 or if you are on a mobile device, scroll allllll the way down to the bottom of the page and click on “View Full Site” and then scroll allllll the way down again just past the comments and you will find the subscriber box there. You also useful site MUST like my Facebook page HERE. Believe it or not, I will actually be checking this!

Keep those fabulous entries coming, and keep me up late at night! I would love to hear from you in the comments section below too, but if you have a question about the challenge, please post it on the event page. That way, everyone else with the same question will benefit. You people are just click for more a mazing with the entries I have gotten so far! Also remember that your entries must be something you created specifically for this challenge, and not something previously made!

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca

 

Sarcasm does a Prototype


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Brrrrrrrrr!!!!! That’s all I have to say about the weather! I feel SORRY for all of you on the upper eastern seaboard who have gotten all that snow! We got about maybe five minutes of it here in Montgomery, Alabama Friday evening, and of course, everyone went stark raving mad! My Facebook feed read like it was the end of the freaking world! THAT is what happens when there is even a HINT of snow in Alabama! Life stops, schools close, grocery stores go bare, traffic goes haywire with freaking crazy idiot drivers wrecking everywhere because they think they have to get somewhere quick before the roads are going to close. Puh-leeze! Our roads only close when they are flooded, and as of late, that has been rather frequently, unfortunately. Stay warm people!

So, you all know I had oral surgery a couple of weeks ago. Well, I have spent my recovery time at home up until just a few days ago, courtesy of my husband, who wouldn’t let me drive while I was on those GLORIOUS things we call pain pills. Personally, I think my driving is better when I’m under the influence, but that’s another discussion….

You already know I taught myself Jill Wiseman’s Wave Crest from last week’s snarky installment.Butttttt, I wanted to play around with it a bit. Well, I was freaking bored at home, so I also taught myself several other things, including tubular herringbone and the Russian Spiral. But, I was enchanted with Jill’s Wave Crest, so I decided to downsize my crystals and my seed beads a little, and use my absolute FAVORITE color of PURPLE!!! I mean, how can you go wrong with purple???

"Wave Crest" (design by Jill Wiseman) comparison picture with smaller size

“Wave Crest” (design by Jill Wiseman) comparison picture with smaller size

I also made another one in the called for by pattern size for a friend for her birthday. She wanted something that looked a little like the ocean and sort of beachy. I decided I didn’t want to just give her the pendant, so (man, I was SO bored while I was stuck at home!) I stitched her up my very first Russian Spiral, using 8/0’s in light blue pearl, milky sapphire Jonquil, and crystal clear hex, and 11/0 in silver lined alabaster pink.

"Wave Crest" with my very 1st Russian Spiral!

“Wave Crest” with my very 1st Russian Spiral!

Well, I have had the fabulous honor of being chosen by Potomac Beads to try out some of their new beads! SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! They sent me an assortment of beads that they (and only Potomac) carry, such as Rounduos, Rountrios, Faceted Routrios, and Discduos, along with some superduos, seed beads, Firepolish crystals, and Swarovski crystals to use to create with! Also included in this picture is some ultrasuede and Nicole’s Bead Backing I received the same day.

potomac

I haven’t had a whole lot of time to work with them, because I got behind on my own orders due to my surgery, but I did work up a small prototype of a little something I wanted to share with you today. Not too sure whether or not this is going to work out to be a pendant, a set of earrings or the beginning of a bracelet component, but I welcome your suggestions in the comments below! Also, as a designer, I ask that you please respect my design process and not copy or reproduce anything I share with you in the picture below.

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As you can see, I am using the Faceted Rountrios, 8/0 seed beads, 7/0 Matubo’s, 11/0 seed beads, and Rullas. The one thing that I am really unhappy with at this point is the amount of thread that is showing. If you are a regular reader, then you know that is my number one pet peeve. But, like I said, this is just a prototype, and I haven’t decided (though I have about a gazillion ideas) where I am going with it next. However, once I do complete it, I will release the tutorial for free for a limited time here on this blog to my readers who subscribe by email only. After that time is up, it will be available for purchase on my website.

That about wraps it up for this week. I hope I have been informative, nice, snarky, and a little bit humorous! Don’t forget for all your 20 gram tube Toho beading needs to check out Eureka Crystal Beads and use code A10SAVE20R for 20% off your first order! And, don’t forget to check out Potomac Beads for the newest beads, the Rounduos, Rountrios, Faceted Rountrios, Discduos, Czech Pressed Druk Cup Button Beads, Potomac Crystal Faceted Machine Cut Buttons, and so much more!

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm does Cellini (with a tutorial!)


oral surgery

Ok, I had oral surgery Tuesday, so I am NOT in the best, or for that matter, the straightest frame of mind. (Thank you pharmaceutical industry for pain meds!) Fasten your seatbelt folks, cuz this is going to be short, sweet, and to the point this week. I gotta go lay down! Butttt, since I was stuck at home unable to drive, due to those marvelous wonders we call pain pills, I did manage to get some beading done!

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In addition to working on some new projects of my own, I decided to see what all the fuss was about with Jill Wiseman’s Wave Crest pendant that you can only get the kit for on JTV. Well, JTV has been sold out of their kits for like, forever, so Jill, being the super wonderful nice person that she is, went ahead and released the how-to video on Youtube and just kind of left it up to the viewer to figure out what beads to use. I did just that. 😀 Another thing you can do to learn Jill’s beautiful techniques? Pick up a copy of her book, “Jill Wiseman’s Beautiful Beaded Ropes: 24 Wearable Jewelry Projects in Multiple Stitches (Beadweaving Master Class Series)” at your nearest book retailer or online. You won’t be sorry you did. It is an A.WE.S.O.M.E. book!

My version (and I’m not specifying bead sizes out of respect for Jill and JTV’s publishing rights) uses copper firepolish beads, matte teal, matte tea rose AB, galvanized metallic chocolate, blue zircon, and Navajo white seed beads. I will say this, the only thing that makes this different from a regular Cellini spiral is just one teeny tiny little trick. You can find Jill’s how-to video here. Other than watching to see what that little trick was, I basically did it on my own, because I just am not a video learner. All that stopping and starting and rewinding and fast forwarding gives me a headache. I’m a visual learner. I look at something, visualize the thread path, and then just do it. Anywho, here is my version.

"Wave Crest" by Becca Scott - Design by Jill Wiseman

“Wave Crest” by Becca Scott (Design by Jill Wiseman)

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So this is just based on basic Cellini spiral principles. Need some pointers on how to do one, or just a refresher? Well, here ya go! The Cellini spiral, named after a famed 16th-century Italian artist of dubious reputation and immense talent, is a really fun and creative way to do spiral peyote.

The basic technique for making a Cellini spiral is the same as creating a piece of tubular peyote stitch: pick up an odd/even number of beads, tie them in a ring, and start working in tubular peyote stitch. What gives Cellini spiral it’s characteristic undulation is the variation in bead sizes used to make the tube. Yes, it really IS that simple! It can be worked in either even or odd-count tubular peyote stitch. If you decide to use even-count tubular peyote stitch, don’t forget to make the step-up at the end of each round. That’s another thing that makes the Cellini so darn easy: the step-up is always in the same bead! When working in odd-count peyote stitch, the work will just spiral around to infinity, with no need to make a step-up.

The most important thing to remember about doing a Cellini, and I can not stress this to you enough, is your thread TENSION! It is absolutely crucial for your spiral to look presentable and your beads to spiral correctly and lay against each other they way they are supposed to. Because it requires such a sturdy tension, I recommend you use at least a 6 or 8lb Fireline or Wildfire. Put your Nymo, and all those other softer, stretchier threads away for this, because you need something sturdy.

The other key thing to remember? The main thing about a Cellini spiral is that no matter what your bead combination, whether you are doing even or odd count, you will ALWAYS feed the same bead you are coming out of into the next bead. Doesn’t matter what color or size, this is always, always, given in a Cellini, and what makes it so freaking easy!

Four Bead Combinations for Cellini Spiral

Ready to give it a try? Here are four easy variations of Cellini peyote spiral for you to play with!

Copper Spine: Start each spiral with 13 beads as follows:Copper Spine

  • 2 dark blue size 8 seed beads
  • 2 light blue size 8 seed beads
  • 2 purple size 11 seed beads
  • 2 light blue size 8 seed beads
  • 2 purple size 11 seed beads
  • 2 green size 8 seed beads

 

Raspberry Raspberry Spiral: Start each spiral with 12 beads:

  • 5 peach lined size 11 seed beads
  • 3 matte raspberry size 8 seed beads
  • 2 rose lined size 6 seed beads
  • 2 matte raspberry size 8 seed beads
  • 1 copper size 6 seed bead

 

 

Black crystal Black Crystal Spine: Start each spiral with 13 beads:

  • 1 black 4mm crystal
  • 2 green size 8 seed beads
  • 2 green size 11 seed beads
  • 4 matte bronze size 11 seed beads
  • 2 green size 11 seed beads
  • 2 green size 8 seed beads

 

 

Copper Spine Olive and Copper Spiral: Start each spiral with 9 beads:

  • 3 olive lined size 15 seed beads
  • 2 matte bronze size 11 seed beads
  • 2 matte olive size 8 seed beads
  • 2 matte copper size 6 seed beads

 

courtesy of Jennifer VanBenschoten of Beading Daily

 

If you want video instructions, I recommend Potomac Bead Company’s video “Cellini Spiral Stitch (Introduction)” that you can link to here. Say, you need somewhere to buy those beads and crystals for this fabulous project! So why don’t you head over to Eureka Crystal Beads to buy them? They have Toho’s in 20 gram tubes, and superduos in 25 gram quantities for unbelievably low prices! They are based in Rhode Island and my orders to Alabama from them usually arrive within 2-3 days max. That’s how fast their shipping is!

 

Anyway, that is IT for me for this week. Pain meds are kicking in and I need a nap! Besides, the grandbabies will be arriving soon, and that means a LOT of work for my hubby! Ha! I guess there are some benefits to having part of your jawbone cut out and grafted back on! Please don’t forget to leave me some comments. Show me some love, people! I want to know what tutorials you need to see, and suggestions for what you want me to do, not do, whatever! Also, don’t forget to sign up in that little box thing that floats around this page depending on what kind of device you’re on to get my snark delivered straight up and first to your email inbox each and every posting. You never know when I might throw out a bonus post that doesn’t get posted on social media!

Until next time, stay smart, or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm thinks pink


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I love, love, love, my grandbabies. They are my heart, soul, and world. When my 5-year-old grandson was getting ready to start kindergarten this year, I was not just excited for him though, I was excited for me! Let me explain. When his mom, my daughter, was in elementary school, I did the PTA thing full-time, and when I say full-time, I mean I went to her school with her in the mornings and didn’t leave until long after she was dismissed in the afternoons – every single day! I even served on our local County Council’s Board of Directors and had EIGHTEEN schools under me in addition to everything I did for her school. But I loved every freaking minute of it. Every time I subbed a class, laminated, copied, answered phones, just whatever needed to be done, I loved volunteering for such a great cause – the benefit of my daughter and others schools.

So now that my grandson is in kindergarten and his mom works full-time – I get to do it all over again! (Insert happy dance HERE!) Anyways, last week I was busier than a fireman at a 5 alarm fire trying to sort out school field trip and spirit shirts and get them delivered to all the kids before said field trips that were this week. Then, on Thursday I helped chaperone the entire kindergarten to a pumpkin patch field trip to Dream Field Farms. It was an awesome experience for the kids. They all got to dive in a corn pit, which is basically like those ball pits at the pizza places, except it is dried corn. They thoroughly enjoyed jumping around in the “unmicrowaved popcorn!” There were pigs and goats, a hayride where they all got to pick out a small pumpkin to take home, and plenty, and I do mean plenty of other activities! They even have pig races!

As much as I love my grandson and having sixty 5 year olds and an entire faculty calling me Gamma, after those few days, I was, to put it mildly, crapped out exhausted! Buuuuutttt, still I couldn’t sleep one of those nights, and the secretary at his school is a HUGE supporter of Breast Cancer Awareness (she even put permanent pink streaks in her hair), so I cranked this out to give to her to thank her for letting me help out so much.

Flat Cellini Spiral Bracelet for Breast Cancer Awareness

Flat Cellini Spiral Bracelet

This was my first of any type of Cellini for a bracelet, let alone a flat one that I have done.  I used 6/0 opaque baby pink, 8/0 copper lined pink, 11/0 silver lined white, and 11/0 dark pink delicas. I finished it off with a matte sterling 3 strand clasp and sterling silver awareness charm. I made it about 9 inches in length, because it draws up quite a bit when you pick it up and put it on. I definitely had fun making this spiral, though I wish there was something that could be done to keep the thread from showing quite so much between bead sizes. Just a pet peeve of mine. If I had my way, all thread would become invisible once the clasp was sewn on! Now wouldn’t THAT be cool! If I could figure out a way to do it, I could be rich! What would I do with the patent for something like that? Well, buy more beads and yarn, of course! Duh!

I’m going to wrap this one up for this week. My little Doodlebug is walking now, and is literally trying to climb up my leg as I am typing this. It’s pretty close to her bedtime. If you haven’t already, please fill out the little box for the email subscription and you will get my sarcastic repertoire directly in your inbox every weekend and whenever I feel like it in between! I will be resuming my random postings in the next couple of weeks, so if you are an email subscriber, stay tuned! Don’t forget to leave me a comment on what YOU are beading/wire wrapping/polymer/lapidary/crocheting/knitting/and any other craft I haven’t listed here! ALSO, if you wouldn’t mind leaving me some sarcasm memes, I WILL use them in future postings!

Until next time, stay smart or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm wins a Design Challenge!


oh no

I tend to be just a wee bit more sarcastic to the people I love and like, so if I’m straight up nice to you, then you have to wonder what I really think about you. Luckily for most, I’m sarcastic with nearly everyone I meet. I also tend to be a little more on the sarcastic side of things when I’m stressed, upset, ticked off, or _____ (you fill in the blank). That being said, I have really been on my game with the sarcasm thing this week.  To say I have been stressed would be a colossal understatement, and to explain all the reasons why would turn this week’s blog into a submission for a “Reader’s Digest” condensed book.

The thing that got me out of my stress-induced funk and inspired my beading mojo to carry on this week though, blew me out of the water. It seems I WON the Dry Gulch August Color Design Challenge! I’ve never won anything with my beading! Ever! Every month for the last several months, I have been entering the Dry Gulch Beads & Jewelry color design challenge. They assign a color design pallet each month, and you have to use all the colors in the pallet to design something amazing and artistic. Judging is based on adherence to the color pallet, creativity of design, and effort put into the project. Of course my entries have always been jewelry.

This month I entered a pendant. The color pallet was  called  “pink patina door” and consisted of five colors: vivid red, dark moderate red (looked burgundy/wine to me), dark moderate yellow (looked olive), mostly desaturated dark cyan-lime green (kind of a dark sea foam), and  mostly desaturated dark cyan-lime green (sea foam). You can see the color pallet, along with all of the entries here.

I have been wanting to attempt to do a Cellini spiral for a while, and was challenged in one of my beading groups to do a flat Cellini, so I thought why not kill two birds with one stone, and do the Cellini using the challenge color pallet from the Dry Gulch Beads & Jewelry challenge?  I used size 6/0 in matte olive, 8/0 in matte dark sea foam, 11/0 in opaque dark sea foam and opaque dark red, and 15/0 delicas in opaque bright red. I stitched a flat Cellini approximately three inches long and then “zipped” it up with my remaining Fireline thread. I finished it with a Swarovski briolete in ruby.

watermarked-design winner

I have to admit, I absolutely hated working with this color combination at first. It was so far out of my color comfort zone I wanted to scream obscenities to the beading Gods. But, that’s the thing about these color challenges from Dry Gulch. They are supposed to get you motivated to work with something new and different each month, whether you are comfortable or not with what you have to work with. If it had not been for my favorite Bead Fairy Cyn Wilson motivating me to finish, I really do not think I would have. Now that I have, I have a $50 gift certificate from Dry Gulch to show for it!

beader

To make me an even happier camper this week, COLLEGE FOOTBALL HAS ARRIVED!!! My beloved Auburn Tigers played Louisville yesterday at the Georgia Dome and beat them 31-24! War Eagle! Next week is a home game against Jacksonville State. There is nothing better than the atmosphere in Auburn, Alabama during a home game. Auburn fans are a big family and greet each other with “War Eagle” wherever they go, whether you know each other or not.

Don’t forget to sign up with your email to get my snarky blog in your inbox every week, along with a bonus posts mid-week every now and then about something random! Please leave me a comment below and let me know how I’m doing, what you would like to see, or just to say hi!

Until next time, stay smart or stay smart sassy!

Becca

Sarcasm faces a challenge


Funny-definitions-Sarcasm

So every month for the last few months I have been participating in the Dry Gulch Beads & Jewelry monthly color design challenge. You can find this month’s challenge here. They post a color pallete every month and you have to design something amazing using those colors. I love the challenge of finding something that will fit withing the color parameters, and they are generous enough to award a $50 gift certificate to their 1st place pick, and a $25 gift certificate to 2nd, to be used in their store or website. This month’s challenge was unique in that it was all one color family. Simple, right? Nooooooo. I had to make it difficult, and pull out every stinking green shade of bead, gemstone, ribbon, etc. that I owned and try and put them ALL together. Then, while checking out a newer beading technique I had been reading about over on Fusion Beads, I decided to try it out with those colors and voila! This is what I came up with! I posted my entry on the challenge page along with a little challenge of my own: what to name it? The winner? I present to you “Twisted Tranquility.” I made this using 6mm Swarovski pearls and size 11 seed beads with a silver clasp. The technique is called a flat spiral rope.

watermarked-Twisted TranquilityI have also come across some incredible opportunities with wire wrapping and crochet this week, thanks to some free patterns from some very generous Facebook friends. With wire wrapping, I am working on the “Down in the Valley” cabochon wrapping tutorial, thanks to Linda Taylor-Ricci of Ricci Designs Wire Wrap on Etsy. In crochet, I am (and cussing, but with love) making a dress for my granddaughter’s first birthday pictures from a pattern by Strings and Cuddles. I will post the finished pictures of both when I finish swearing my way through them!

Well that about wraps (wire, yarn) it up for this week!

Stay smart or stay smart sassy!

Becca